Admit and deny the english language

Hi

I'm back

sudah lama sekali rasanya saya tidak menulis

Ngga lama juga sebetulnya, jujur memang waktu terasa lama kalau kita gunakan sebaik-baiknya. 

Bener-bener kerasa banget apalagi digunakan dengan baik buat belajar, buat baca banyak artikel, buku akuntansi, pajek sampai baca blognya orang-orang yang menginspirasi.

A few weeks ago, I met my friend which got scholarship to study abroad, then read at instagram, blackberry messager and facebook and I ramdomly opened my friend's status. Actually I have so many friends which going abroad to continue their study whether it be in australia, france, germany, US, UK.

Then I realized that I why I can't get the opportunity like them. What's wrong with me, when my friends get their dream to work or continue their study and where am I now?

Then I ponder for a moment and I think I found the answer

to get this chance are I must improve the attitute, knowledge and pray. So I have to do much improving works than my friends did. One of them is improving my english language.

People always deny something that they don't want to admit or avoid something. me too. For example I deny about how good my english was, my english is so bad till today I wrote this journal. I had avoid english because I'm not confidence, I am afraid. No, I scared did something fucking wrong about grammar, vocabulary, pattern, how I talk with other people and bla bla bla.

I did it for almost 5 years, when I went to college, met many friends which using english to talk and wrote very well, many literatures wrote in english, reading many blogs at english. So then I was only used english to understand something when I read blogs and literatures and also I commonly used the google translate. Then I didn't practice so well with my grammar, pattern, and how talk english with the others. 

since couple weeks ago I decided to challange myself that I can do like them, I can writing and speaking in english. So that I can reach my dream

whether my dream job or continue my study at somewhere else.

But I do believe that I can much better than today.

Like Wimar Witoelar said " time is all we have and we have to use it well ". 

Like DreamTheater said " Spirit carries on ".

Like Batman said " It's not who I am underneath but what I do is defines me" .